Up Yours: Barnes and Noble on Court Street

I know it seems odd that a librarian would hate a bookstore, but that's exactly how I feel about this one. About two years ago, I found myself in Brooklyn (a beautiful NYC borough), and stopped off in the Barnes and Noble on Court Street, a few blocks north of Atlantic Avenue. That particular B & N branch isn't up to par with any of the many others I have visited, and I didn't purchase anything. As I left and approached an outer door, a miserable-looking creep suddenly lurched at me and said: "Excuse me, can I (the correct grammar is, of course, may I) talk to you for a minute?" Thinking this jerk was someone looking for for a handout, I replied: "I'm sorry, but I don't have time right now." The moron then hurled himself in my path and shouted: "Well, I want to talk to you!" At that point, I had to decide whether or not to punch the bastard in the mouth. I'm sure I would have decked him, but I opted to restrain myself.

It turned out that he was an undercover security guard, although he never showed me any badge or identification. In addition to illegally detaining me, he performed an illegal search of my backpack. Needless to say, this piece of garbage found no contraband. I buy and read books. Sometimes I give them away as gifts. I don't steal them.

I need to add that the store had (and undoubtedly, still has) an automated alarm system keyed to the bar codes of its books. Anyone leaving the store with a stolen book would set off a loud beeping sound. Today's libraries often have similar security devices. As I exited, I passed through it and no alarm went off. That should have have sufficed for the idiotic guard.

Several people observed me being illegally searched by him, which added to my humiliation. A man passed by, with his little girl in tow...a sweet-faced child of about nine or ten. For a few seconds, her eyes met mine, and I knew she thought I was a crook. The whole incident was a vividly horrible experience...one that I all-too-often still ruminate about.

Naturally, after that moron found nothing, I went back inside and complained to the manager. With a stone-faced, rather condescending manner, she declared "You are absolutely right." But I knew the manager, who never did look directly at me, wasn't going to fire the no good bum, as I had demanded. In retrospect, I should have sent a registered protest letter to the B & N home office. A lawsuit against the store and a police complaint against that imbecilic security guard are also actions I wish I had promptly taken. It's too late now.

But it's not too late to warn everyone who reads this to stay the hell away from the that freakin' bookstore! And it's not too late to heartily say: Up Yours: Barnes and Noble on Court Street!